I wish I was dead.
Like for real. I would be dead if I hadn’t come up with the ‘Way of the Pips.’
I realized a long time ago that each day has the potential to be the best day I have had yet..
My daughter could be born, I could fall in love, get hired for my dream job, or more. Granted, it could also be the darkest day yet. My grandfather dying, a depression that spans the depths, becoming unemployed, realizing that Governor Stitt was my Governor. Things can go really wrong. But… they have the potential to go right as long as you roll the dice.
And each day that I wake up, is a day I can reset the slate and take a chance at getting the right roll of those dice of fate. Finding the right set of pips that puts my day on a great track.
Most likely? I get an average roll. Crappy or Decent, the day just doesn’t fly to the moon... or hell, but it’s ok. Because the day I stop rolling those dice? That’s the day that I give up on a perfect roll.
If I didn’t have this path, this ‘Way of the Pips,’ then I wouldn’t be here. I would have chosen the void over this world years ago. I am reasonably happy, but I struggle with a level of depression that’s too heavy. I spent a decade taking care of a spouse with MS and she paid me back by cheating on me. I guess working 3 jobs to provide for her didn’t provide me enough time with her.
Now my life is a constant struggle. I try to fill it with Sissyphus level of personal tasks, things I try to keep occupied with that are interesting and fun, but it gets so hard some days to find anything resembling joy. My daughter is about it next to my partners, and it’s a struggle with all of that as well. I work on it daily and the pips reward me a lot of the time, but life is really hard with bipolar AND being married to someone with bipolar.
So the ‘Way of the Pips’ sustains me, gives me focus and allows me to pursue breathing.
Which I do.
How do you combat sadness? Depression? Rough times?
Leave a note in the comments, I’d love to hear from ya.
In the meantime try out the way of the pips, it works for everyone… one more day after today… roll those dice. Order a T-shirt if you want.
Peace, Love and Pips