Thank you for being a valued member!

My name is Rev. Brian Scott O'keefe and I'm here to share my world.

I run my own business, braincandi.com, where I build websites, manage digital brands, and create digital graphics. I also do boudoir and adult photography on the side and am currently working with a troupe of models and others creators at randomblink.com. I'm ordained as a Reverend and do weddings. I'm a capable DJ and will DJ weddings, or parties as well. I've even DJ'd a wedding that I officiated at the same time. It went flawlessly... and was a lot of fun as well. I also work security at a local club when I'm not hanging out at the club and having fun.

I write, draw, paint, sculpt, embroider, 3D model, and more... much, much more.

I tend to stay busy... even when I don't want to... lol. It's a curse that my brain has cast on me.

At the moment I'm unemployed. I usually manage a day job to cover insurance and a regular paycheck, while I do my websites, photography, reverendyness, and more for extra money and entertainment.

Thank you again for being a valued member!

This is the last blog you'll ever need.

The Wisest People Ever

It's been a real weird time... I was laid off in November because the company I left City Government for lost a major client and had to lay off most of their VDC staff. VDC is Virtual Design for Construction. I basically worked on laying out electrical systems in a 3D layout of various buildings, most of which were server farms. I signed NDA's so I can't list out the names but they were big boys.

I figured I would go a few weeks and find work...

9 and a half months later... covid proved me wrong. I had multiple interviews setup in January that all dissolved when covid reared its ugly head. Then things start calming down in June and I started to get more interviews setup... they all dissolved again.

I did have three promising interviews... two ended up going with someone else and one told me I was overqualified.

So here I sit... on a stack of skills... waiting.

It's frustrating, but it is what it is...

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start writing!

Jolly rancher in my vagina

I’m not shaving my ass for that

 

It was the Masquerade party. The drinks were flowing and the music was jumping... styles... We went from honky tonk to rap city to 80's galore. The pool hall area was brimming with people and players, we had a few dancers on the floor . . .

 

So we’ve all been there… Well, at least we probably have if you’re reading this blog. You’re messaging with someone you either know or just met and that moment pops up where you decide to make that (potentially life-altering) decision to send a pic… of your no-no area. Your junk. Your privates.

A Nude!

That’s right. It’s scary, right? Are they gonna respond appropriately? Are they gonna laugh? Are they gonna wanna see a live version? But the problem here is most people don’t ask that most important of questions…

Are they gonna share your photo on their Facebook group? Their Tumblr blog? Their MySpace account?

What?! People still use MySpace… REAL people… not just bots.

They do.

Trust me.

ANYWAY… it’s a very real possibility that this is gonna get shared. GLOBALLY!

And continue to trust me here, but it’s also possible that a prospective job interviewer will google you and stumble across this image.

ACK!

So what is a beautiful naked body supposed to do?! You NEED to share this, right? They need to see this. It’s important… or something.

Let’s just say that the ‘randomblink’ has a few tips for all you digital exhibitionists…

NO FACE!

That’s right. If your intention is to show the sexy bits, let’s protect your identity and keep your face out of it. Crop in your smile if you have to, include everything downwards towards your feet, but… NO FACE!

 

SAFE TEXT

Maybe you want to Snapchat a little bit of text on that sexy pic. Tell your potential amore what this picture makes you think about them. Share a meaningful bit of information about the image, or yourself, or the moment that the pic was taken… but make sure you sanitize that text!

No real names… usernames are just fine.

No phone numbers! NO PHONE NUMBERS! You wouldn’t write your name and number on the bathroom stall wall in a public restroom, so don’t leave your number where it could possibly end up in anyones hands across the GLOBE!

NO WHERE’S!

Most phones take pictures these days and include a tiny bit of text that could REALLY make your day a sad one. The GPS location of where it was taken. Which might be fine for your significant other, but… what if it gets out of their hands somehow? A prank from a friend, a slip-up on an unforgiving social media app, or worse… a hack!

Turn off your GPS… or get an app that SPECIFICALLY takes pictures that are GPS-FREE!

You really don’t want Bubba the Local Stalker to stumble across a picture of your naughty bits that includes a map to your house.

I promise.

WATERMARK IT!

Watermark it. Earthmark it. Airmark it. Firemark it.

I don’t care which one of the elements you choose… but MARK YOUR PHOTO!

What is a Watermark? It’s basically some form of image placed on a photograph (or image) for tracking purposes. It could be the name of the person you are sending the photo to. The group you are sharing the photo in. The social media account you share the image with. It really doesn’t matter. Because when that photo pops up on your parents Facebook account, you are going to want to know who shared that private pic with the world at large and your family in the end.

Be Aware

If you plan on shooting that photo of your birthday suit out into the digital ether just make sure you do yourself a favor… don’t kid yourself. It will be shared. It WILL be shared. Maybe not on purpose, maybe not maliciously, maybe completely by accident… but It. Will. Be. Shared.

So don’t kid yourself into thinking that your best guy Jimmy wouldn’t do that, or Tanya loves you more than that, because It. Will. Be. Shared.

So feel free… be confident… send away…

Just be careful.

Be safe.

While you’re making the internet a more sexy place, make sure your world stays safe in the process…

Have fun, get naked, and here’s my email so you can send me a copy… nudesforfun@randomblink.com

Peace, Love and Imagery

Everyone of us has been in a group situation where we have to interact with several people, sometimes several at once. One of the interesting things to me is that when we do this, interact with others, we actually shift into different states of mind. Different ego states. These states are complete with their own feelings that we carry while in them and specific patterns of behaviours.

Psychiatry has been able to identify three specific ego states and the categories that best describe them.

  1. ego states which resemble those of parental figures
  2. ego states which are autonomously directed towards objective appraisal of reality
  3. those which represent archaic relics, still-active ego states which were fixated in early childhood

Each individual seems to have available a limited repertoire of such ego states, which are not roles but psychological realities.

Berne, E. (2010). Games people play. London: Puffin.

The Parent

Growing up we all had a parental figure, even if we didn't consciously identify them as such. Someone (or even someones) that we took leadership from, were mentored by, and cared for their approval. We also noticed how they lived. How they reacted to certain things in life, what their opinions were on various topics, and this imprints on us.

That imprint is considered to be our Parental Ego State and certain circumstances can trigger, or activate, it. Once activated we fall into a pattern that can be identified by those looking for it and, more importantly, by ourselves if we strive for better self-awareness. While in this state we tend to parrot modified versions of what our parental figure would say in the situation that triggered the Parental Ego State activation.

The Parent has two main functions. First, it enables the individual to act effectively as the parent of actual children, thus promoting the survival of the human race. Its value in this respect is shown by the fact that in raising children, people orphaned in infancy seem to have a harder time than those from homes unbroken into adolescence. Secondly, it makes many responses automatic, which conserves a great deal of time and energy. Many things are done because ‘That’s the way it’s done.’ This frees the Adult from the necessity of making innumerable trivial decisions, so that it can devote itself to more important issues, leaving routine matters to the Parent.

Berne, E. (2010). Games people play. London: Puffin.

Basically the Parent Ego State shows up by triggering us to act in a manner that we think would be consistent with our parents in a situation... or... it can be indirect in which case we act the way we think our parents would want us to in a situation.

We either become Mom or Dad, or we obediently act like they are there and telling us how to behave.

Parent ("exteropsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think in response to an unconscious mimicking of how their parents (or other parental figures) acted, or how they interpreted their parent's actions. For example, a person may shout at someone out of frustration because they learned from an influential figure in childhood the lesson that this seemed to be a way of relating that worked.

Berne, E. (2019, December 25). Transactional analysis. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

The Child

We all were children, at one point or another, and let me tell you... That time period affected us forever. The easiest way to look at it is that we all have a younger version of us alive inside of us. A little boy or girl that becomes active in our feelings and behaviour in an infinite manner of ways.

Don't get confused... the Child Ego State is neither immature nor childish. The behaviours that we exhibit might be, but when the Child takes over a lot comes down to whether our inner child is a healthy one... or an unhealthy one. An unhealthy Child is one in need of therapy because when they take over as an active ego state they tend to create more chaos than anything else.

The healthy child, on the other hand, adds creativity, joy and excitement. It's like pure exuberance on tap. Which is why it's important to be aware and conscious of this inner child, to treat them with the utmost care and nurture them like you would your own children.

Child ("archaeopsyche"): a state in which people behave, feel, and think similarly to how they did in childhood. For example, a person who receives a poor evaluation at work may respond by looking at the floor and crying or pouting, as when scolded as a child. Conversely, a person who receives a good evaluation may respond with a broad smile and a joyful gesture of thanks. The Child is the source of emotions, creation, recreation, spontaneity, and intimacy.

Berne, E. (2019, December 25). Transactional analysis. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

The Adult

We all know someone that just oozes with maturity, makes all the right choices, doesn't indulge themselves, and lives by a code... right? It can't be just me that these kinds of people just stand out in a crowd for. This person probably is able to keep their Adult Ego State in control throughout most of their day. The problem is... the Child will not 'stay' quiet.

Adult ("neopsyche"): a state of the ego which is most like an artificially intelligent system processing information and making predictions about major emotions that could affect its operation. Learning to strengthen the Adult is a goal of TA. While a person is in the Adult ego state, he/she is directed towards an objective appraisal of reality.

Berne, E. (2019, December 25). Transactional analysis. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis

Eventually, each of these 3 Ego States will trigger and activate.

But while the Adult is active we thrive at our ability to make things happen. We get our bills paid, clean our homes, wash our clothes, and more. Our ability to interact correctly with the outside world is tied up in our Adult.

The Adult is necessary for survival. It processes data and computes the probabilities which are essential for dealing effectively with the outside world. It also experiences its own kinds of setbacks and gratifications. Crossing a busy highway, for example, requires the processing of a complex series of velocity data; action is suspended until the computations indicate a high degree of probability for reaching the other side safely. The gratifications offered by successful computations of this type afford some of the joys of skiing, flying, sailing, and other mobile sports. Another task of the Adult is to regulate the activities of the Parent and the Child, and to mediate objectively between them.

Berne, E. (2010). Games people play. London: Puffin.

The Balance of Power

We rely on these three states to navigate through the world. To find the best interactions with others that we can find. To choose how we will fill the time we find at our disposal.

Each Ego State is important and worthy of repect and recognition, but most importantly... they are worthy of growth.

So strive to identify what your states look, feel and act like so you can work on building that balance inside yourself.

At least that's what I'm gonna do...

If you've ventured out onto social media lately, besides the shit show that politics is stirring up, you've probably seen (or become embroiled in one of) the gender arguments flying around. So many people are just so certain that the world revolves around this idea that there is only a penis and a vagina and that settles the boy/girl question.

Which is funny... because gender is a social construct. Our societies have grown up basing our concepts on binary ideas. Man and Woman.

God made Adam with a penis and Eve with a vagina! There is no other genders!

Online Moron

Insert Science

But the interesting thing is... science says otherwise... AND... it always has.

The six biological karyotype sexes that do not result in death to the fetus are:

  • X – Roughly 1 in 2,000 to 1 in 5,000 people (Turner’s )
  • XX – Most common form of female
  • XXY – Roughly 1 in 500 to 1 in 1,000 people (Klinefelter)
  • XY – Most common form of male
  • XYY – Roughly 1 out of 1,000 people
  • XXXY – Roughly 1 in 18,000 to 1 in 50,000 births

Even today, we irrationally, and rather stupidly, think of someone as a “man” if they look masculine and as a “woman” if the look feminine.

Joshua Kennon @ https://www.joshuakennon.com/the-six-common-biological-sexes-in-humans/

Culture vs. Biology

What causes some confusion in the general public is the use of biological sex and gender as interchangeable terms.  They do not refer to the same thing.

  • Biological Sex – Usually determined by karyotype.  The brain, body, and reproductive system can be different sexes, in the case of legitimate transgender people, where the brain physiology resembles that of the opposite sex, or biological chimeras.
  • Gender – Mostly used for cultural behaviors such as dress, mannerisms, signs of deference, et cetera, that differentiate the sexes, gender itself is not entirely a social construct.  As already mentioned, neuroscience research over the past few decades indicates through an overwhelming amount of evidence that gender is not a “blank slate” that is imparted entirely by civilization, but rather has some inherent characteristics that manifest regardless of upbringing or environment.

This is why some fringe activists can seriously say, “You can be a woman with a penis”, while most of the world will look at them like they have lost their mind.  They are inherently using the term “woman” to refer to gender and not biological sex.  This difference in vocabulary is responsible for virtually all conflicts between groups on issues in this arena.  They do not realize they are using a phrase to refer to two separate things that are often, but not always, congruent.

Joshua Kennon @ https://www.joshuakennon.com/the-six-common-biological-sexes-in-humans/

It's all about the terms you use. The way you talk. And the intelligence and education you bring to the discussion.

The educated person realizes that there is no issue here. Science has identified, categorized, and summarized the various genders and how they present. The problem then is not usually with their understanding and acknowledgment of science, but with allowing their communication to get muddied with cultural norms and terms of phrase.

Just Breathe

So remember... the next time you stumble into a discussion/argument where gender and biology are getting thrown around... try not to let yourself get caught up in the wrong argument.

Clarification. Questions. Citations.

We have a huge planet to share... if we can, let's do it peacefully.

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